life here is beautiful. its care-free. it's almost fall. horn-honking makes lovely music, and everyone wants to play. i look both ways, but they still move like there's no tomorrow. i ride my bike at one AM. i swim in oceans at midnight. i don't see you anymore.
days are long and nights are short. lately, my dreams twist and turn and burn wild multi-colored images into my brain. when i wake, i think i am insane... but only for a minute. then i remember: i eat msg. then i remember: we don't talk now that you've flown home.
i love neon signs that buzz outside taxi cab windows. buzz buzz!!! GIRLS!!!! BOOZE!!! just tell yourself you're all the rage...tell yourself you'll conserve energy tomorrow. throw your money around like a mothafuckin G. life is cheap. love is expensive. slushies at the gas station are inexpensive, however. i walk there sometimes. i think of you. i think of how i'd like to share my slushie with you too. but now there is no you. there is only me. yet sometimes, with gay friends, there is a pleasant "we."
we dance. we sing. we'll do anything! we're young so we have the time. military time! i don't feel young. but i don't feel old. i only feel like my heart is changing. i feel the units rearranging. and sometiems i feel that i miss the city. i miss it more than i miss drowning on surfing saturday's, when an off shore breeze was present and awkward silences were the only music we could agree on. this will always be the case.
"siiiixteen to twenty-one/we can't remember when we're young/everything i said was true/we never knew what to do/i'd give you my ear all night/my heart don't care if it's right/other people they don't understand/you understand."
the season's change is a conduit.
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